Monday, February 21, 2011

My Picture, My Hair and Staying 35 Forever

My profile picture looks nothing like me.  It was taken a few years back when I decided to let my hair go grey.  Honestly, I hate dying my hair.  It's messy, takes time, and no matter how diligent I am, at some point (usually while out and about) I glance in a mirror and see...ROOTS.  Just hate that.  So I stopped dying and learned to live with the grey.  Got lots of compliments and had no intention of ever dying my hair again.  I was proud of being authentic, bold and unafraid of aging.  Well, you know how it is.  Pride goeth before the fall.

In 2009 my son graduated from high school.  Lots of pictures...was that his grandmother standing next to him?  Oh, was me.  With my short, grey hair.  I looked old.  Of course, it didn't help that I was wearing an Eileen Fisher ensemble which, although quite elegant, made me look and feel kind of dumpy. 

I tried to let it go.  I tried not to let it affect how I felt.  But it did.  It was a direct repudiation of the image I held of ME.  I'm only supposed to be 35.  No, Really!  I know I'm not but that's the age I most relate to and that hair was a constant reminder that I was a lot older.  I started to feel old.  Wow.  How shallow.  Unfortunately, how true. 

I held on to the grey for a few more months until one day I just couldn't stand it anymore and bought some hair dye.  So now I dye my hair again.  I let the bangs grow out, my hair is longer than it's ever been, and honestly needs a good trim.  I am even toying with the idea of cutting it really short and going grey again.  But probably not. 

I'll never be 35 again.  And I know I don't look 35.  But at least I can have my light brown hair.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Helen,

    I can certainly identify with you! My auburn hair started going ugly darkish grey about the time I had my second daughter at 26! I vowed then and there that I was going to fight it tooth and nail!

    Since I retired, I haven't been able to afford the $85 month for color and trim, so I've let my hair growth out from a very short do that I wore, in some simular styles, for over 15 years!

    My bangs are now down to my shoulders! And I am back to coloring my hair at home, but with professional products (thanks to a licensed friend) but I never seem to do it as often as I should to hide the grey. At least now it getting more and more silver. I like that alot better. Maybe in another 20 years I'll let it go silver but by golly not yet!